Top Ten lists about christman by David Letterman Late Show. Most people know David Letterman’s funny top 10 lists. Here in the site, we offer you a small selection of top 10 lists related to Christmas. Remember that the top 10 lists can be seen live on the David Letterman Late Show on CBS.

TOP TEN ELF COMPLAINTS

10. Bells on clothing target for jeers at truck stops
9. Need two pieces of I.D. to buy beer
8. Santa’s union-busting goons killed a guy last spring
7. Black elves control the weight room
6. R&R weekends in Aleutians spoiled by trigger-happy shore patrol
5. Incredible markup at North Pole 7-11
4. Workmen’s compensation doesn’t cover “mistletoe-lung”
3. The Colonel practically runs my life (Sorry, that’s a Elvis complaint)
2. Dead elves just tossed out on tundra
1. Santa only invites his favorites to join him in the Jacuzzi

(The Late Show)

TOP TEN ELF PICKUP LINES

10. I’m down here
9. Just because I’ve got bells on my shoes doesn’t mean I’m a sissy
8. I was once a lwan ornament for Bon Jovi
7. I can get you off the “naughy” list
6. I have certain needs that can’t be satisfied by working on toys
5. I’m a magical being. Take off your bra.
4. No, no. I didn’t bake those cookies. You’re thinking of those dorks
over at Keebler
3. I get a thimbleful of tequila in me and I turn into a wild man
2. You’d look great in a Raggedy Ann wig
1. I can eat my weight in cocktail wieners

(The Late Show)

TOP TEN CHRISTMAS TIPS FROM GENERAL ELECTRIC

10. If one light bulb in your house goes out, replace them all
9. Flourescent tubes make great Star Wars swords for kids
8. Blow-dryers can be used to keep food warm
7. Big corporations shouldn’t commercialize this blessed season by handing
out bonuses
6. Keeping several TVs and radios on alll the time creates a feeling of warmth
and intimacy
5. We heard that Sylvania bulbs give off some kind of poison gas
4. Same deal with Westinghouse
3. Electric toothbrushes should be left on all day to keep them loose
2. A G.E. industrail turbine makes a one-of-a-kind stocking stuffer
1. Warranties, like greeting cards, should be thrown out

(The Late Show)

TOP TEN LEAST-LOVED CHRISTMAS STORIES

10. Ahahl and the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling
9. The Sweatiest Angel
8. Santa’s Three-Day Eggnog Bender
7. Christmas Eve at the All-Male Cinema
6. A Holiday Visit from Salmonella
5. Ironman Mike Tyson Hurts Santa Real Bad
4. My Christmas Sauna with Burl Ives
3. Jack Frost Loses the Feeling in His Extremities
2. I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus
1. The Teddy Bear Who Came to Life and Mauled a Retail Clerk

(The Late Show)

TOP TEN UNSAFE TOYS FOR CHRISTMAS

10. Junior Electrician Outlet Panel
9. Hasbro’s Slippery Steps
8. Black & Decker Silly Driller
7. Roof Hanger Paratrooper Outfit
6. Remco’s Pocket Hive
5. Traffic Tag
4. Will It Burn? From Parker Brothers
3. Chimney Explorer
2. My First Ferret Farm
1. Ooh – You’re Blue!, the Hold-Your-Breath Game

(The Late Show)


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