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Thread: Adult Children Living with Parents

  1. #1
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    Adult Children Living with Parents

    I noticed a couple of you are dealing with this situation. I thought the topic deserved it's own thread.

    As parents, how does it make you feel? I'm dealing with it from a different perspective. My sister, her husband and their daughter are living with MY parents, and I am struggling with a lot of different aspects of it. Might be a good thing to discuss here with ATC friends since it's the "offseason" anyway.
    I love Outdoor Christmas Lights!!

  2. #2
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    My biggest problem is that it has damaged the relationship between MY family and my parents. There is this massive feeling of inequality that I have a hard time dealing with. They are basically getting a free ride, and making no significant attempt to improve their situation and get out. My parents are not willing to put them "out on the street", but I feel they are taking advantage of the situation.
    I love Outdoor Christmas Lights!!

  3. #3
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    Yeah Mike, I've also had this situation before. My older daughter will be 27 next week. She still lives at home since graduating college about 3 years ago. She does have a job, is paying off loans, and is trying to make it in the music industry, so I'm not totally disgusted - yet!
    Both my husband and I are the oldest of 4 kids. It does seem that most of our siblings have lived with parents -as adults - at least for a short time. My brother-in -law did live with his mom for several years after he was married and had a son. His then-wife wouldn't work so it took them a long time to get on track after college.
    On the other hand, my husband and I went right from college to our own apartment, so it does sometimes feel inequitable!
    I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas

  4. #4
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    My two eldest have been on their own since they were 18/19 and they have been doing
    really well as they actually live together anyway. So I'm not phased at all by them coming
    home as actually I'm really looking forward to it. Eldest daughter will be away from September with the youngest daughter who is also going to University.
    Both the eldest have jobs, so no worries on that score. They are using the opportunity to
    save a bit more money as well as helping the dear parents out as well..
    But if the situation arose I would tell them they would
    have to find alternative accommodation if they started to take us for granted.
    Merry Christmas to all...




  5. #5
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    Yeah. My parents were actually kind of excited at the idea of having their granddaughter around all the time, originally. It's now been almost 4 years, and the novelty has definitely worn off, and yet my parents still sit idly by and don't force anything.

    Here is why I am so pissed about it:

    Both my sister and her husband quit jobs at the post office around the time their daughter was born. Sister did it because she wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, and her husband was fine with that. Meanwhile, he decided to pursue his dream of being in real-estate. Well, you can imagine how that has gone. They lost their house to foreclosure. Now, my sister has decided she is going to home-school her kid rather than get a job. Brother-in-law makes almost no money selling houses. Bottom line: I feel that since my parents are completely supporting them, they have the power to insist they both get REAL jobs and actually work toward independence again. As it stands, that will never happen.

    As all this is going on, my wife and I have also struggled financially, and been forced to make hard decisions as a result. So you can see...relationships have become strained, to say the least. My parents just keep telling me, "We'd do the same for you." and that is supposed to make me feel better? We have not spoken to them since Christmas. They live about 25 minutes away.
    I love Outdoor Christmas Lights!!

  6. #6
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    Here's the latest I've heard: My parents have purchased a house in Las Vegas. They are hoping to move by this summer. While I haven't discussed it with them yet, I would be willing to bet they are going to let my sister and her family simply live in their house for free. If this ends up being the case, smoke will be rolling out of my ears with anger!!!
    I love Outdoor Christmas Lights!!

  7. #7
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    Feedback from you ladies is appreciated. Am I out of line? I don't expect my parents to actually kick them out. However, simply recognizing my point of view would probably go a long way.
    I love Outdoor Christmas Lights!!

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by MinnesotaMike View Post
    Here's the latest I've heard: My parents have purchased a house in Las Vegas. They are hoping to move by this summer. While I haven't discussed it with them yet, I would be willing to bet they are going to let my sister and her family simply live in their house for free. If this ends up being the case, smoke will be rolling out of my ears with anger!!!
    Mike, I have a similar thing with my brothers as they live in the same town as my parents and get everything
    from my parents, whereas I get nothing I'm not even thought of so I see where you coming from.
    You've a right to feel the way you do, I for one would feel the same.
    Last edited by tinkerbell2; 02-12-2012 at 03:15 PM.
    Merry Christmas to all...




  9. #9
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    Smile

    I feel the same way your children,in-laws people should be on their own as you have said it's not right for kids to take advantage of their parents and your right there is alot of this going on especially the way the economy is going there are many families living together.I've been on my own since 18 yrs old and have always had my own home but,if you stay with someone you should help out it's the right thing to do.Hope everything turns around so everyone can be happy and have "LESS STRESS"LOL.
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  10. #10
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    Well...I called my mom last night. We are having them down next weekend to have a talk about the whole situation. It's the first time I have spoken to her since Christmas.
    I love Outdoor Christmas Lights!!

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