Christmas Cookie Recipe (follow directions closely)

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
2 tsp lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequilla

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large
bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the
highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer… Beat one cup of
butter until fluffy in a large bowl. Add one teaspoon
of sugar… Beat again. At this point it’s best to
make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup …
just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add
to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick
the frigging fruit off floor…

Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in
the beaterers just pry it loose with a shpoon. Sample
the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.
Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon
juice and strain your nuts. Add one table… add a
spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can
find. Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall
over. Don’t forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish
the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the
dishwasher.

Enjoy and Have a Mery Verry Chrishtmash…or shomefink!