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Thread: A Redneck Thanksgiving...

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2010

    A Redneck Thanksgiving...

    I love rednecks, I have some online friends...this is just for fun!

    You Might Be A Redneck If:
    You've ever had Thanksgiving dinner on a Ping-Pong table.
    Thanksgiving dinner is squirrel and dumplings.
    You've ever re-used a paper plate.
    If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say
    Cool Whip on the side.
    If you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.
    On Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat.
    Your turkey platter is an old hub cap.
    Your best dishes have Dixie printed on them.
    Your stuffing secret ingredient comes from the bait shop.
    Your only condiment on the dining room table is ketchup.
    Side dishes include beef jerky and Moon Pies.
    You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
    The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road".
    You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
    You have an Elvis Jell-o mold.
    Your secret family recipe is illegal.
    You serve Vienna Sausage as an appetizer.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    One day a li'l fella an' his Paw decide t'go deer huntin'. While in th' woods th' Pappy spots a deer an' tells his son to stay put an' not t'make enny noise on account o' he'd scare the deer away so th' li'l fella agrees an' th' Pappy moves on, as enny fool kin plainly see.

    All of a sudden th' Pappy hears a scream an' goes back t'see whut is goin on his son is sittin' thar an' th' Pappy axs I thunk ah told yo' t'be quiet o' yo''d scare th' deer away. He says Paw ah was fine when thet bear walked by an' when thet snake slifered acrost mah foot, but when them two squirrels
    crawled up mah pant leg an' said should we take them now or later ah got a li'l worried.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    On Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat...

    Your stuffing secret ingredient comes from the bait shop, and your turkey platter is an old hub cap.

    You can use your ironing board as a buffet table.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    A turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey. His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never enough legs for everyone. After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts to his friends at the general store get together. "Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!"
    They all asked the farmer how it tasted.
    "I don't know" said the farmer. "I never could catch the darn thing!"

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Thanksgivings are full of campfires, hunting season, disposable dishes and drunk relatives.

    One thing 'bout rednecks, we love meat. If ya give a redneck the choice between a basket of lobsters or a slab of 'possum, they'll take the hairy critter every time.

    We prefer our meat from a wild critter and not some butcher cut, plastic wrapped, store sold package. We enjoy taking our own meat and processin' it on our own. But, I gotta warn ya, when we eat, it's usually with our hands and not with a knife and fork.

    The last time I went out to eat in public, my cousin was eating with his fork and it shocked me so bad I dropped a handful of mashed taters and gravy.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2010

    Pregnant Turkey

    One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store.

    When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen,and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.

    When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.

    With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.

    It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!

    Yep...she's a redneck!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Trinidad / west indies
    omg all the posts are funny lmao this is a turkey sing along e card hope you like it
    yes its a red neck
    And this shall be a sign unto you: Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, Lying in a manger.
    - St. Luke ii.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2010
    ...and I live in a hole...
    You're a redneck if the smartest thing you wear to go to court is your camoflauge hunting jacket.
    So let the raucous sleigh bells jingle,
    Hail our dear old friend kris kringle,
    Driving his reindeer across the sky.
    Don't stand underneath when they fly by.

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