thanks very much, Ellie. that's very kind of you. My kids are able to help, but the apt needed cleaning first and I can't do it all, cleaning and cooking, especially since I felt so awful. my daughter doesn't care about the holiday because she's depressed and wishes we were up north with family. And my son is allergic to any kind of housework, lol. I even offered to pay them a little for helping but neither of them took the offer. so, we'll see how it goes tomorrow. I just want us all working together and making it nice, but it can be awfully hard when you don't get cooperation. My son is all excited about Thanksgiving and Christmas, but he doesn't seem to understand how much I need for them to pitch in and make it a happy , team effort. And I don't want to be the wicked witch of the south and start meting out punishments and help ruin the mood of the holiday. anyway, I should have gone to bed about 4 hours ago and I am rambling because I am tired. thanks for reading