'Twas the Day AFTER Christmas
'Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was hurtin', even the mouse.
The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.
Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor,
While upstairs the family continued to snore.
And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,
Went into the kitchen and started to clean.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.
The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;
The patch on his jacket said, "U.S. POSTMAN."
With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox,
Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.
Bill after bill, after bill, they still came,
Whistling and shouting he called them by name:
"Now Target, now Best Buy, now Penny's and Sears.
There's eBay and Amazon - you're up to your ears!
To the tip of your limit, every store, every mall,
Now charge away - charge away - charge away all!"
He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work.
He filled up the box, then turned with a jerk.
He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,
Driving much faster with just half a load.
Then, I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,
"Enjoy what you got . . . you'll be paying all year!"